Home / All / Keef vs. Fredo: Who Would Win In a Fight?

Keef vs. Fredo: Who Would Win In a Fight?

 

Chief Keef and Fredo Santana are huddled together within the depths of Keef’s California mansion, putting the finishing touches on their Turbo Bandana album that is sure to rival Watch the Throne and What a Time to Be Alive in terms of sales and quality. Unbeknownst to both rappers, Tadoe has laced their Turbo OG with a potent mixture of meth and crack as a practical joke, and he is hidden under the couch cushions with a camera to capture the ensuing result to post on his Instagram. Fredo begins to notice that his heart rate is much higher than usual, and he looks through the thick haze of smoke to see that Keef is sweating profusely and beginning to twitch. Before either man knows what is happening, they are locked in a deathly grapple, turning over chairs and studio equipment as both struggle to gain the upper hand.

Keef pushes his cousin away and throws a wild hook that catches him square on the chin, sending him spiraling into the drywall which explodes beneath his massive girth in a burst of asbestos and dust. Ballout has awoken from his lean and Percocet-induced slumber out in his doggy bed in the garage, and has come into the house to see what all the commotion is about. He watches as Fredo struggles to get to his feet, and cheers on Keef as the codeine-bellied paintball enthusiast delivers a brutal kick to the side of his cousin’s head. The furniture is painted with a gruesome mixture of Fredo’s blood and teeth, but he is able to grab Keef’s ankle and pull him down to the cold tile where he begins to slam his elbows into the protruding Neanderthal forehead of his more talented kin. Keef cries out in anguish and scrambles for his chopper in a futile attempt to end this fight once and for all, but in his adrenaline-induced panic he has forgotten that he left his Glock and it’s hundred round clip outside in his rented BMW.

With a final scream, Fredo snaps his cousin’s neck and collapses in exhaustion, sweating pure cough syrup from his pores and farting out kush smoke that Tadoe hungrily inhales to ensure that he doesn’t spend a moment in the horrific prison known as sobriety. Colorful Money scrambles into the fray dressed in a revealing maid outfit and fishnets, hurriedly cleaning up the mess before anybody can be angry at him for being a bad slave and not breaking up the fight.

This week’s winner of Local Savage fight night: Fredo Santana. Peep back next week for the battle between 21 Savage and Lil Yachty.

About J.V. Duyn

Head writer for Local Savage and resident Gucci Mane stan. Twitter: @kushstankmurda Instagram: @trilleonaire

Check Also

Kodak Black Disses Lil Uzi Vert & Lil Yachty

Kodak Black Disses Lil Uzi Vert & Lil Yachty

 Kodak Black is at it again folks, stirring the pot in his own unique fashion. …